I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have fence marks all over my body
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You don't make any sense
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