Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
