He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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