There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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