I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
