I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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