I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
