he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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