I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
