but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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