Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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