between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize