don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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