They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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