Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize