You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
