Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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