i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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