remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
