And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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