escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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