I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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