..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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