why didn't you poke me back
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
