You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
