I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
