Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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