Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
