im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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