I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize