I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
