This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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