Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
