I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize