I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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