dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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