You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
