no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
