she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
