i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
