she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
