She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
