He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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