this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
