This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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