what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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