as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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