Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
