I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
