I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
