How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
