she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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