keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
