I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
