Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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