mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
