How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize