Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
