Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
