So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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