Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
