his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
