butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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