This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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