I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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