I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
