I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize