People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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