I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
