i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
