maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
